The Curse That is Politics

Many, many years ago at work I was having a conversation---actually, I was listening to a monologue---with a fellow at work about how ludicrously over-paid and worthless the mayor was. At one point I could listen no more without commenting. "I happen to know that the mayor makes less money that we do." (This was actually true, all the people on Guelph Council used to make very little money.) In the space of a heart-beat, without even the time to draw breath, my co-worker announced "Well, then, that explains it! You get what you pay for." He then left the room "in triumph". This left me alone with another fellow who'd been listening without saying anything. "You do realize that that man's vote is every bit as important as yours, don't you?"

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I've run in elections several times. I've built a riding association from scratch. One of the political parties in Ontario has my fingerprints on various parts of it's constitution. I've also got to know some fairly successful elected officials over the years. And I wouldn't wish their lives on my worst enemies.

Why would I say this? Well if you run for office you have to convince a lot of people to vote for you on very flimsy reasons. It's a blunt fact of life that almost no one outside of your immediate family and close friends really knows much of anything about you. And, moreover, most folks know almost nothing about important public policy issues or your particular party's proposals. This means that you need to totally throw out the window any idea that you can run and win based on your personal character or the issues. Instead, what you generally are doing is engaging in a public relations war based on the shallowest of "memes".  (If you don't know what a "meme" is, stop reading my drivel and follow this link to the Wikipedia article and read it. It's probably the most important thing you can do to make sense of politics.)

And don't expect our news media to help out. Where there still is a print media, there are severe space and time limitations on what reporter can write. This limits them to being able to rush off to an assignment, take a picture, get some quotes, and, then hammer out a quick "he said, she said" story before rushing off to the next assignment.

And on-line publications are generally paid-for by advertising clicks. And to make real money, the story has to "become viral", which means that readers share the story with friends and family on social media, which gets other people to post it, and on, and on. (Come to think of it, this is a lot like those letters crazy aunt Bertha used to send saying: "Send this prayer to at least three other friends. If you break the chain horrible things will happen to you!") And to do that you simply cannot be writing about facts or ideas---you have to be punching emotions. Generally this takes two forms: sappy sentimentality (hence all the cute kitten posts) and ANGER. And if you want to get people angry, the last thing you will want to do is show nuance or grey. Absolutely everything has to be dumbed-down to the blackest of black and whitest of white.

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Since I've just made my usual rant about how awful the mainstream media is, I think I'll make my also usual pitch for support through Patreon or the tip jar. It's a thing that people do if they think that my blog posts serve some useful purpose. I've been sick with the flu for a week so I've foolishly decided to try to write a humorous rant (probably because of the fever.) James Howard Kunstler has been doing these for years under the banner of "Clusterfuck Nation" and they work pretty well for him. I doubt if this post is anywhere near as good. But I'm generally my own worst critic, so I'm tossing this out as an experiment that will probably never be attempted again. Get back to me if you like it. 

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This leaves going door to door, which is essential to an election campaign. But the fact of the matter is that candidates and campaign workers simply do not have the time to be able to spend more than a trivial amount of time talking to voters. This is far less than is necessary for anyone to make an honest appraisal of the candidate's character or the party's platform. So to be a politician you have to master the skill of showing that you are deeply empathetic while cutting the conversation to the shortest time possible. This means that if you have any sense of self-consciousness you end up feeling like a bit of a phony while appearing like one to anyone who is dumb enough to think that you might have the time to actually listen to what they think. Now that's a prescription to make you feel good about yourself!

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If by any wild trick of fate you actually get elected, you then become the last gasp and hope for people that are desperate for help. They will demand and beg for aid with social assistance, parking squabbles, immigration papers, termite spraying, and anything else they can think of. This will run the risk of totally overwhelming your office and grinding your staff into exhaustion and despair.

May the Dark Lord of the North help you if your party wins power. And abandon all hope if you end up in a position of real responsibility---like becoming Mayor or a Cabinet member. That's because if you do, you will end up feeling like an antelope that has been caught by an entire pack of hyenas. One group of people will grab you by one leg and beg you to do one thing. Another will grab another leg and demand you do the exact opposite. Yet another will grab your right arm and demand that you drop everything else and focus on something entirely different. And another will grab your left, and demand that something else be done. No matter what you try, you will never be able to please everyone and these people will generally curse you as a totally vile sell-out.

If you doubt this last point, consider the case of our present Prime Minister. The man has tried to pull the four corners of the universe together to build the case for preventing climate change. And yet, he finds himself facing a revolt from provinces who believe it is better to avoid paying taxes than to prevent a civilization-destroying environmental catastrophe. Foolishly, he attempted to make a Faustian bargain by at the same time supporting a pipeline to help Alberta, and Kinder Morgan kicked him in the groin by deciding to pull out of an "obviously profitable" Trans Mountain pipeline. To appease the Alberta voter, he then went the further step of actually buying the project so that it would still be built. But having done all of that, he is still being vilified to the point where people are selling "merch" suggesting he be lynched.

A brilliant political statement,
by a company that I refuse to promote with a URL
Image used under the fair use provision

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And underlying all of this is the basic fact that far too many ordinary voters have the minds of spoiled children. If you doubt this idea, consider the following graphic.

From the Calgary Herald, art by Dave Elston,
in his book: You Might Be From Alberta If...
Fair use, free advertising, don't complain.

We all know about the bumper sticker. What makes the cartoon funny is the caption that says that it is "reusable". I'm not sure, but I think that Alberta has managed to piss away two oil booms after the first time this bumper sticker entered my consciousness. And yet, they've still managed to avoid saving any money in a heritage fund or diversifying their economy. And they did this at the same time as they lectured the rest of the country about how it needed to "get it's economic house in order" and blamed central Canada (and both Trudeaus) for all their problems short of dandruff and crab grass. In contrast, Norway only had one oil boom and it was able to save more money than God and is now rapidly setting their society up to run on nothing more than sunlight and fresh air. (Can we please trade Alberta for Norway?)

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Frankly, I don't know why anyone would enter politics. I can only speculate, but I think that there are basically two reasons. Some folks enter into it because they are something close to Saints, Bodhisattvas, Sages, Realized Men, or, whatever your religious tradition calls tremendously groovy people who are willing to suffer mightily to help others. The other folks are people with deep, deep holes in their psyche that demand that they amass power no matter how many people they crush in the process. My general experience has been that the former vastly out-number the latter but recent political developments may cause me to rethink that assessment. Ultimately it comes down to the gullibility of the average voter. If things swing back to a more sensible equilibrium my faith in politicians and the system may go back to normal. If not, I may have to start rethinking my understanding of how the universe works.